5 Ways To Stay Motivated

Staying motivated is hard enough at the best of times. Not least when there's a global pandemic going on and our world leaders are running around like headless chickens. Except for Jacinda Ardern - even an earthquake couldn't rattle her. Whether you're trying to stay motivated to work from home, need a little inspiration to keep up with your workouts or just trying to keep yourself mentally healthy during a trying time, here are some great tips for staying motivated. 

1. Get A Little Cheesy

There's a big stigma these days against using a little motivational speaking and cliches to help see you through - we can probably thank the 90's influx of motivational speakers for that. But there's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying a little cheese, from time-to-time. Just don't get up on stage and patronise people for an hour, while you do it.

Use affirmations. Leave post-it notes with positive messages around your most-used spots (and change them up, weekly, so your brain will always register them). Read motivational books like Chicken Soup For The Soul, if it makes you feel better. I, for one, am a big believer in watching rubbish films that let your brain turn off for a little while, so it can reboot and get back to work, after the breather.

2. Don't Be Afraid Of Rejection

Chances are, if you're unmotivated, you feel like you can't offer anything to the world. Aside from this being absolute crap - everyone has something to give that is entirely unique to themselves - that mindset stops you from venturing into the unknown. If you think you're going to fail, or don't think any time and effort will be worth it, then you'll be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Everybody gets rejected. I could pull up ample stories about famous people who were rejected, from Walt Disney to J.K. Rowling (I even talk about it in previous interviews I've done with successful writers and actors). In the words of Captain Jean-Luc Picard, "It is entirely possible to commit no errors and still lose. That is not weakness. That is life." Being rejected is one of the greatest gifts you could ask for, because it forces you to reevaluate your strengths and weaknesses, and adapt accordingly. It's those adaptations that get you through and help you evolve into who you're meant to be. 

So, if you win, get that promotion, get signed or whatever your goal is - amazing! If not, you still gained invaluable experience which will help you get where you need to be. I'm a big believer in the right things happening at the right time - even on those days where it feels like you're pushing a boulder uphill. In snow. In heels. It'll come good, eventually.

Accept rejection - revel in it, even. It's a sign you're stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a chance on yourself.

3. Take Ten

This is one of my absolute favourite terms, because it can be used to mean a whole range of different things. For example, if you're stressed, panicking or restless, taking ten minutes to follow a tapping routine will ground you and help to focus yourself. On the other side of the spectrum, if you're feeling a little lazy and are thinking of skipping a workout, then take ten minutes to jog on the spot, do some sit-ups and get some adrenaline going.

"Take ten", to me, means to jerk yourself away from whatever the hell you're doing at the time, which is causing the negative outlook or effect. Force yourself to do ten minutes of something that is on the completely opposite end of whatever you're doing at that very moment. Obviously, if you're driving or something, don't just suddenly stop doing that. That's dangerous. But do it when you get to your destination.

My go-to when it comes to taking ten is to head outside, somewhere green (or, at least, filled with nature). I've always been a big fan of getting out and about, but now there's proof that going outside can reduce stress, less obsessive thoughts over tasks and problems, relieves attention fatigue and increases creativity. 

4. Go Grab Something To Eat

This is definitely more of a short-term solution for short-term motivational blocks (I fully advocate for healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle as one proactive method, for long-term issues). That said, there's nothing wrong with getting some endorphin-boosting food down ya gob, from time to time.

Enjoying the right foods at the right time can help give your serotonin (the happy hormone) and dopamine (the pleasure hormone) a much-needed lift. And sometimes that's enough to bring you back to speed on a slow day. You'll be pleased to know that chocolate, nuts and seeds all fall under this category, as well as being an excellent source of Vitamin E and antioxidants (yay!).

If, of course, you're looking for something a little less fattening (too much of a good thing, amIright?), then salmon, green tea and bananas are excellent substitutes. They also come packed with a wide range of added vitamins and minerals, all of which do a great job on providing nutrition to your body.

5. Seek Sanctuary

There are times when the best way to help ourselves is to claim sanctuary in the literal or figurative arms of a loved one. Think of it as running in the rain, toward a friend with an umbrella. Yes, it's still raining outside the radius of the umbrella, but you're safe and dry now. And a good friend will walk
with you, until you can find shelter - in whatever form that may be.

Oh, and I'll let you in on a little secret: nobody ever brings their own umbrella. Most of the time, we stole it off someone else, after we ran to them, and they passed it along once they reached their shelter. It's honestly all one big cycle of people helping each other out, when we need it the most.

Once you share your dreams and fears with your friends, I can guarantee that they'll have your back. And, having the right kind of support, means you'll feel more motivated than ever to push forward.

Short Interview with a Robot Ninja Shark

OK, so I didn't ACTUALLY talk to a shark that is both a Robot and a Ninja - but, if you know of the increasingly popular moniker of Ryan, you'll understand that he might as well be. Here's the thing, RNS is the kind of guy who can make it big in pretty much anything he puts his mind to - and I know that because he's already traveled so far.

I approached Ryan after sending a call out for people to tell their stories. I am fascinated by the obstacles that individuals have to overcome and the incredible tales they are able to tell - and I want to use my platform as a jump-off point for people to share their experiences. If that's something you'd like to be a part of, then please do contact me and let's get started, sharing the best and worst that life has to offer

It is very difficult to interview a man who is trained in the art of getting YOU to talk. Responsible for the sale and movement of back-up generators for nearly every major power infrastructure in the US, Ryan is a guy who knows how to pull information from you and make you actually enjoy the experience. With this in mind, you may understand that our half-hour chat ended up becoming a 4-hour heart-to-heart, complete with tears and laughter. That said, Robot Ninja Shark is a fascinating guy, with an incredible story to tell.

You see, Ryan was once homeless and lived in the second most violent neighborhood in America, an issue, he says, which came from making bad choices. Yet, when he met his now-wife, everything changed, "we had a mutual friend and he got sick, so she invited me to travel with her and go to see him. By the time we got there, he got better and we had fallen in love". Two months later, the couple were engaged and, not long after that, our Shark friend had found a job that allowed him to set up for the future with his new wife.

"I knew the rules of how to be successful but I had never applied them until that point. But then I set myself up to succeed - I told myself 'this is how much I'm going to make in the first year, the second year, the third year... When I told my boss about my projection, he laughed, but - while I missed the first year projections, by the second year I had hit my 5-year target". On this note, we go on to discuss the difference it can make to someone - anyone - who finally feels that another person has faith in them, and wants them to succeed. It doesn't have to be a love interest - it just has to be someone who genuinely thinks the best of you and can see the potential you hold.

The lovely Susannah!

Of course, for those who are aware of Ryan's video over on Twitter, you might also be aware that the family's hardships didn't end here, with a view to living happily ever after. Both he and his wife suffer from a range of health issues, including celiac disease - but it wasn't until his wife, Susannah, who was already dealing with Hashimoto thyroiditis, began to struggle with movement and her sense of touch that things suddenly took a sharp downturn. Her nervous system was being attacked, but nobody could figure out why, or seem to slow it down.

"It started when she was pregnant with our second child, in that she was dealing with major exhaustion. Being pregnant meant that most doctors would just pat us on the head and tell us that this was part and parcel of the experience - but it had gotten to the point where she physically couldn't get up the stairs to see to our first-born, when he was crying". And, while he wasn't aware of this at the time, the guilt that came with that was also having a major impact on her mental health. As any parent will tell you, a lot of their self-worth will come from doing the best job that they can. When your physical or mental ability fails you to the extent that you can't provide for them anymore, there is a huge crossroads to overcome in how you see yourself, long after any barriers have been knocked down and your capabilities have returned.

And through it all, one memory that sticks with him is closing a multi-million deal wearing shoes that he had to fill in with a Sharpie, to cover the holes. "It was the first time that I got a great paycheck, after spending so long struggling. It was the first time I knew we were going to be OK. Up until this point, I had been doing all of the same work - but for pennies. I ended up breaking down and crying in the back office". Being able to pay for carers and get the help that they so desperately deserved and needed helped Ryan and his family enter the next phase of their lives - one where they could push to find answers and not just seek a way to survive the next month.

"I was at the point where I was literally banging on the doors of the medical centers at the weekend, demanding answers and finding out what was going to happen next. It took 8 months to find the answer to our problems and it would have been so much longer had I not had the capability to take those extra steps and push the professionals to give us what we needed in terms of information".

Despite all of this, Ryan does not offer himself any credit, referring to this trying time as simply "the human experience" in that our struggles and pains have resonated through us, since the dawn of time. "This is not unique to us," he tells me, before going on to tell me how Susannah lost the ability to use her arms and legs, having to move onto a catheter and how each and every single test came up with nothing, time after time. The answer, after 8 months of physical and emotional pain beyond anything I could imagine, was Lyme disease.

Now, Susannah can walk (although not always when she wants to), and has even come off her oxygen - a huge step, given that her sats were in the 60% range toward the end of this life experience (90% or lower is considered dangerous, and where people can often become confused or even begin to lose consciousness). Still, he considers himself incredibly lucky to have had his own experience up until that point, to show him how to keep fighting so hard for answers - and it's fair to say that his tenacity and love for his family saved his wife, despite his own downplaying of the strength of his character.

So, what's next for Robot Ninja Shark? It's time for him to enjoy his own passions and work with what makes him happy. Better still, he wants to get a very particular message out; "If you are in a darker place, if you don't have the support, no matter what - if you're willing to work on yourself, it gets better. If a dumbass like me can figure this out, then you've definitely got this!". Keep fighting folks, and - in the same way that Ryan and his family found a way to the other side of one of the toughest moments anyone could go through - you can also work your way into the next phase of your life. Your time to play and to return the value you provide to the world is coming.

What Pregnancy Has Taught Me Thus Far...

It has been ages since I wrote my last post and I felt that it was maybe time to give some a little more mature, sage advice. Obviously this is all personal to my experience but from what I gather, us ladies tend to have a crossover of opinions and emotions during pregnancy and, if I could be bothered to draw a Venn Diagram, I'm sure we'd all nod our heads in collective agreement over at least some of the things I've learnt from my first baby.

 Everybody has an opinion, whether you asked for it or not.

 When I first found out about my pregnancy, I was reluctant to tell anyone because I was always seen as a bit of a wanderer, in terms of where my life has been. Hence, the second anybody found out about me, I was instantly reminded about how I must 'grow up' now... by people who knew nothing more about me than what I was like as a teenager (and, if you've read my previous post, you'll know I was a grumpy-ass teen). The level of rudeness from others can never be underestimated, and you'll probably hear people who disagree with everything from your name choice to what nappies you were thinking of buying- and God help you if you bring up the matter of breastfeeding! Understandably, during a time when you're happy one minute and anxious as all Hell the next, this is not helpful and can raise your worry-levels to all-time-highs.

My Advice: For me, my pregnancy is a very personal thing. I haven't posted much about it on Facebook/Twitter, other than the original announcement and a pic of my bump around xmas-time. I talk to my other half about our little girl (yes, we found out on NYE that it's a very wriggly, bouncy baby girl at our anomaly scan) all the time but I no longer ask for opinions from anyone else unless I genuinely think they might have something valuable to input. I have, however, joined up to BabyCentre as I've found their app both informative (they have a page which gives you a day-to-day update of your baby, as well as things you should be preparing for) and the other members helpful (this may vary from board to board, on the forums but my group- May 2015- are a good mix of 'Feet-on-the-Grounds' and 'Head-in-the-Clouds', in terms of advice and counselling). This is effectively a great way of getting all the silly first time mum questions out of the way and also finding a support network that you don't need to be reserved around.

Everything is so damn expensive

Did you know that the general amount for a cheap nursery set is 500 quid. FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS?! Who even has that kind of cash lying around?! And that's just for a cot, wardrobe and changer. Sod. That. You'll suddenly find yourself desperately looking for sales, scouring eBay and hoping that people will be nice and help you buy at least some smaller bits and bobs

My Advice: Every shop these days has a baby event. Keep your eyes peeled and jump on them. Don't get snobby about buying thing second-hand (although there are a few essentials you will NEED to buy new, such as a mattress for the cot). Join groups such as Bargain Buys for Busy Mums who are on Facebook and have their own website (they have a lot of useless things on there but a few gems, too). Don't fall for every marketing ploy out there and check on the forums for recommendations from other mums- Aldi and ASDA make some of the most popular nappies around (often ranked more highly than pampers!) and are a fraction of the cost.

You will suddenly realise you know nothing about pregnancy, birth or babies

Suddenly you will find yourself asking questions that you've never thought about before. I think most women who are honest with themselves will know they have asked themselves whether they will be 'ok' after baby is born and how the whole carrying-a-small-person will affect them but very rarely do we found ourselves questioning whether water and cotton is best for nappy-changing or wet-wipes. And you will find yourself asking this, at some point. How much room do we need in a changing bag, really? What do I even carry in a changing bag? Will I be better off carrying baby in a sling, or buying a pram? Which pram is best for public transport/car journeys/long walks? And, of course, the all important 'how do I get people to not bombard me after I've given birth?' This obviously doesn't include those who claim to know everything, of course- whether they've had a baby or not (see previous point).

My Advice: Ask! It doesn't matter what people think of you! Even if it is a stupid question, it's a question that you don't know the answer to, and anyone who is a decent human being is not going to let you flounder around in a Sea of New Stuff. I figured out which pram I wanted by asking a stranger at the bus stop what pram she was using and how was she finding it? The woman was an absolute star- even demonstrating how the pram changed positions and telling me where I could find it cheaper! We then went on to have a 20 minute discussion- and incidentally both missed our bus- whereupon she gave me some great advice about not trying to get EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW (she'd spent loads on toys etc. only to discover that her wee one preferred everything she didn't have).  It's much more important that you get the answer than it is to not be embarrassed for 5 minutes while you gain the courage to ask someone who, at some point, had to find out the answer, themselves.

Strangers are lovely, after all

Call me crazy but I had to pop this in. Don't get me wrong, the general public are generally insane and total arseholes (years of working in customer service may have skewed my views a touch) but, for the most part, this changes when you're pregnant. You instantly have what I like to think of as a Sieve System. This basically means that those who are rude, arrogant etc. generally stay away- because those kind of people don't like to be around others who are likely to gain more attention than them (and, as awkward as it might be, pregnant ladies just get a lot of attention). Luckily, this means that those who are left are, generally speaking, the kind of people who will put others before themselves. People you've never met before will ask you how you're feeling/how far along as you/are you excited? And so on. If you're big enough to be showing, you will be offered seats and first dibs in public areas and, as previously mentioned, you will be given sound, helpful advice by those you have never met before.

My Advice: Enjoy it! Pregnancy is hard. Like, really hard. You are the only worker in a baby-creating factory and your shift is 24/7 with no breaks and no relief (what fun!). You're sick for the first 12 weeks, feeling baby kick for the next 14, then hugely uncomfortable until you pop. It's nice to have people smile at you for no reason and help you with little things you probably could have managed yourself. These are the people who help you to remain independent when, in any other case, you'd probably be sat at home wondering why nobody gives a damn. They are proof that you are bringing a little 'un into a world that is not as hopeless as it may have seemed before.

Baby comes first. In everything.

One of the first things I explained to Jeremy when I first found out about our unexpected little rascal was a simple truth. "From now on, it's Baby first. Then me. Then you". Now, I'm so incredibly lucky to be in a situation where I have had to put this into a hugely life-changing effect. But every decision I make from hereon-out is based entirely on what is best for my little girl. The simple fact is, if you are still in a position of wanting to do things your own way, at your own time, with just yourself in both action and reaction, then you are not ready to have a baby. It's a hard, important truth which I honestly find is often overlooked by people who seem to firmly believe that they can live the life they did, beforehand... with a baby. You won't just affect your newborn while pregnant and breastfeeding- your lifestyle will affect them when they're a couple of months old, 5 years or 18. This is not meant to scare anybody who is pregnant, or thinking about pregnancy. It's simply a reminder that having a baby is a lifelong commitment to somebody other than yourself- and one which you can't separate from. Oh- and the reason I come second over Daddy? I'm currently the biggest provider for baby. He was actually shocked when I said that, if worst came to worst during labour (I'm ever the optimist), I wanted him to do everything to save baby, rather than me.

My Advice: This is actually a good thing. Once you've realised what exactly you've committed to, and gotten over the anxieties of 'will I be good enough?' (hint: you will), you'll notice just how easy it is to think about what is best for baby. You can still enjoy your life and all the little treats and naughties you had before you decided to go for it- you'll just naturally ask yourself how that will affect everybody's life.

Your dreams will affect you.

We've all had that bad dream which has you waking up, certain that a close, loved one has betrayed you or gotten themselves into terrible danger. But, when you're pregnant, your lovely hormones play a game called 'what do you really fear?', and this manifests itself both in random moments of panic after your brain has suddenly spiralled into a negative cycle and in dreams (yup. Even when you're not conscious, it's all about the baby and your future). These will be personal to yourselves and your own most-dreaded scenarios but mine have consisted of everything from being totally alone, to having baby taken from me and not being able to find her, to losing my baby and having to give birth to her, stillborn (and yes, they're very graphic... and men wonder why we get so upset at the slightest thing!)

My Advice: Talk it over. If you're with a partner, then it would be natural to go to them first, but you should have a whole network of people with well-working ears. Your midwife should be your first port of call if you find that your fears are getting harder to ease, as she can refer you to proper counselling- or simply put your mind at ease with solid facts. Never be ashamed to ask for help.

You will change

If it wasn't obvious enough at this point, I should probably tell you now. Pregnancy is a life-changing, pivotal time in your life that will affect you (hopefully for the better). You will all have your own reasons as to why (some of you may have tried for years and finally been blessed with a sticky little bean, while others might have suddenly had this thrust upon you) but the most important point I'm trying to make is that this new, wonderful era of your life is about to begin and you will get to see how your lifestyle and decisions affect the little part of you that yourself and someone who has impacted your life have created together! How amazing is that?!

My Advice: Embrace it! Enjoy the moments when your fears are eased by a loved one, or a stranger tries to touch your bump (a weird moment, if ever there was one!), or how your horrible dreams mean you cuddle up to someone you love and tell them how much they mean to you- because you've been reminded of how much you need them, or would miss them if they weren't around. Smile when you feel baby kicking so hard that they actually make you jump and think about whether they'll be just as strong outside the womb (perhaps they'll be a future footballer?) and what kind of person they'll be.
Enjoy your new life, with a life you have created.